F.M.P REHEARSING FOR PERFORMANCE WEEK 1 MON-FRI

WEEK 1

This week we continued working on our F.M.P. pieces. The piece I was mainly focusing on this week was ''The Pitchfork Disney'' piece with me and Pierce because since our scene is going in the first Act of the show I decided to focus on that before moving on to ''The Fastest Clock In The Universe''. Me and Pierce kept running our lines day in and day out, we walked around the department going over our lines, we even went to the canteen and came back to our department running our lines. To me this was quite a challenge, even though we exercise's like this with Yusuf it still helped, I had to challenge myself a bit more because there was a lot of distractions and people we know want to stop for a minute I just answered them back in character (in the role of Cosmo Disney), that way I was able to explore more with my character and see a few things that would and would work for my character. Also by doing this exercise with Pierce I was able to learn my lines quickly which I kind of struggled with because this character 'Cosmo Disney' ,that I'm portraying speaks quite a lot in this piece and there are lot of bizarre things my character does throughout the play.  Officially me and Pierce are of book and we've started blocking this scene. 

Although Pierce's character 'Presley Stray' (Main character of the Pitchfork Disney) only responds to each line I say, it's a good thing because by me delivering a lot of lines I'm giving him a lot of things to react to. Also things are just straight forward and snappy. As we were blocking our piece I realised that in the script it says that as my character comes on, Pierce (Presley) is trying to help me inside but I am shying away from him but since the effect is forcing me (Cosmo) into the house. Also my character is hunched over and he's still in pain, as Pierce re-bolts the door I vomit and Pierce just stares and there is a slight pause after that then I just go into my line. This is where the difficulty comes in with our piece and we are trying to find the naturalism within this and trying not to confuse our audience, but there's still time to sort things out now that we're off script. When we show Alex what we have so far and maybe he'll be able to suggest a few things. 

After I read through my script I highlighted a few words that had be cut out or changed since I have a feeling that if deliver certain words it may cut the audience back a little bit because of the old East End languages and it may sound a bit too corny when I deliver these words because if I was to show the others or whoever watches what me & Pierce have got so far they may take this piece as a joke, not Pierce but specifically me because they know that I don't speak in a cockney accent regularly and that it's not my forte. So I have to remind myself to keep things simple so that the audience can understand and engage with our piece. As I going through my script I was considering changing the scenario in the scene a little bit and what I was thinking of, instead of Cosmo just coming on and vomiting it could just start of with Pierce sweeping his living room and a knock on the door. As I come on stage I could come on, not feeling to good and Pierce trying to force me in and look after me ect. Somewhere in the script I say ''You should clear that up'' and what my character is referring to is the vomit that's on the floor, instead of vomit on the floor it can just be tea, water or drink that Cosmo has spilt. That way it's much easier/simpler for our audience to sort of grasp instead of vomit because that would just kind of confuse the audience bit, they may be thinking to themselves ''Where did that vomit come from'' 
since they may not have a clue what play it is. I'm not saying all of this is the idea me & Pierce will use for our scene,this is just a suggestion which I'm going to have to discuss with Pierce and if he likes it then we will both have to discuss with Alex, if he doesn't like it then I'll listen to what ideas he has.

There's quite a lot for us to think about for Piece and these things include the setting, scenario and the language in our piece. Hopefully within a couple of weeks  it should blocked properly and at a good standard. Here's the script for our scene:

Cosmo: That’s fault that is forcing me in here. Knew I was gonna puke always do.

Presley: …………Why?

Cosmo: Have to get it out of my system

Stares at Presley

Cosmo: You ill?

Presley: No.

Cosmo: Well you look it.

Presley: Well, I'm not.

Cosmo: I ain't a lover of illness me. Sick things. Germs getting into my bloodstream. I’ve never had anything wrong with me. Want it to stay that way.

Indicating vomit

You should clear that up.

Presley goes to kitchen and fills bucket with water

Cosmo: See me from here did you?

Presley: Yeah.

Cosmo: Why d’you come out? Feel sorry for me, did you? Think I was a boy? A boy in need?

Presley: Something like that.

Cosmo: Well, you was wrong. I ain't no boy………Wanted to touch me did you?

Presley: No.

Cosmo: Liar!

Presley: I'm not.

Cosmo: I don’t like being touched, me. Don’t like it all. Not by another man. Not even by the one I was with. You see him?

Presley: Yeah.

Cosmo: He’s gone to get our car. Parked it earlier, then forgot where it was, Could be walking the streets for hours. Not his fault. His brain ain't all it should be. He’ll come back. Has to. I'm like a magnet to him. The North Pole in the compass of his life.

Presley has knelt beside vomit

Cosmo: You fucking praying or what?........It’s only vomit. Won’t stain. Ain't curry.

Presley starts clearing up the vomit

Cosmo: This place stinks

Presley: Of what?

Cosmo: Chocolate

Presley: What kind?

Cosmo: What d’you mean what kind? Chocolate’s chocolate.

Presley: I eat a lot of chocolate

Cosmo: Can tell. Look at your teeth.

Presley: What’s wrong with them?

Cosmo: They’re rotten.

Presley: They’re not.

Cosmo: When was the last time you looked in the mirror?

Presley: I don’t like mirrors

Cosmo: Your eyes are pretty bloodshot too.

Presley: My eyes are pretty?!

Cosmo: Pretty bloodshot, I said. You get enough sleep?

Presley: Plenty. I take tablets

Cosmo: Well, that explains it. Tablets ain't real sleep. That’s chemical sleep. Your skin’s suffering.

Presley: My skin?

Cosmo: All pale and pasty. You need some fresh air. You’re an unhealthy human being, Mr Chocolate. You know what you need? A good scrub. You've been hibernating too long that’s your trouble.

Presley: I'm not hibern-

Cosmo: Now take me for instance. How do I look?

Presley: Oh……..

Cosmo: Go on. Spit it out

Presley: ………..Lovely.

Cosmo: Just lovely?

Presley: Very lovely

Cosmo: Just very lovely? Oh you can do better than that. Shall I tell you what I am?

Presley: What?

Cosmo: Perfect. Come here, Mr Chocolate.-----------WORD NOT NEEDED!

Presley approaches Cosmo.

Cosmo: Look at my eyes. Are they clear? Are the whites white and the blues blue?

Presley: Yeah.

Cosmo: And my skin? Any pimples or scars? Any blemishes of any shape size or description?

Presley: No.

Cosmo: And my hair? Is it glistening and healthy and redolent of a stallion?

Presley: Yeah.

Cosmo: And in my mouth?

Presley: Wonderful

Cosmo: Not one filling. Perfect white, shiny, healthy teeth.

The word that I've highlighted in red is a word that I've cut out because by saying it, to me it just sounds to corny and a bit kiddy. I have thought of ways of delivering that line and tried various things but it just wasn't feeling right for me. So what I decided to do is to just cut that word out 'Mr Chocolate' and just leave it as ''Perfect. Come Here,'' simple and by that way it will keep our audience engaged with our piece. Also if we had that word in, most likely it would just kill the vibe/momentum of this piece. Overall I like this piece.

Next week I shall focus more on my scene with me and Cameron ''The Fastest Clock in The Universe''

This weeks been fine :/

CONTEMPORARY THEATRE PERFORMANCE: BEGINNING OF F.M.P. (FINAL MAJOR PROJECT):

Now that we have finished our devising unit/performance workshops, we can now move onto the F.M.P.(Final Major Project). For this we can work with anyone and people we haven't worked with before. The type of plays we have to put on is different British contemporary plays from a variety of playwrights such as Harold Pinter, David Rudkin, Joe Penhall, Roy Williams, Philip Ridley and so many, these plays have to be written after 1930 as it says in the grading criteria before I was thinking of writing a script but since it says in the grading criteria that all plays have to be contemporary my idea had to scraped. Also each of us have to do 3 scenes from these plays and our characters have to be completely different characters and the play itself has to be different when I mean different meaning that we can't do different scenes from the same playwright. For this project my partners are is Cameron and Pierce, I'm still deciding on my third partner whether it would be a girl or boy and a play to pick. The scene that me and Cameron are doing is a scene from 'The Fastest Clock In The Universe' a play by Philip Ridley where my second contemporary monologue is from. The characters that were playing is Cougar Glass (Cameron) & Captain Tock (Me). However the scene me & Pierce are working on is a scene from 'The Pitchfork Disney' the scene when Cosmo Disney first enters and meets Presley. 'The Pitchfork Disney' is where my first contemporary monologue is from. The characters were playing is Presley (Pierce) & Cosmo (Me).

The Pitchfork Disney




 Plot


''The Pitchfork Disney'' is about two twins Presley & Haley, two adults I should say who live alone in the East End of London and they lead a childish fantasy existence, living mainly off chocolate. Their parents have been long gone, since they disappeared somewhere in the story Presley mentions his parents and reckons they have passed away. Presley & Haley both tell stories and discuss their dreams and fears. Haley sucks on a dummy and goes to sleep. From their window Presley and Haley see two guys, one who is sick. Presley brings the sick man in, who promptly vomits on the floor. The man introduces himself as Cosmo Disney and he explains that he and his partner (Not sexual-relationship partner) are showmen. Cosmo's sickness is caused by eating cockroaches which his talent consists of. He emotionally manipulates Presley, who is obviously attracted to him. Presley then tells Cosmo about a repeated dream that he has, involving a serial killer named 'The Pitchfork Disney'. 

Immediately after Presley finishes his story, Cosmos partner arrives. He's a huge masked and a mute figure named 'Pitchfork Cavalier',  and his act is simply taking his mask off to reveal his hideously deformed face. Pitchfork sings a wordless song, dances with Haley as she is unconscious and eats some of Presley's chocolate. However Cosmo convinces Presley to take Pitchfork to the shops, promising friendship. While Presley and Pitchfork are out, Cosmo then performs a bizarre sexual assault on Haley. Unexpectedly Presley returns and discovers Cosmo's true motives, and breaks his finger. Cosmo runs away, Pitchfork briefly returns and terrifies Presley and then leaves. Haley awakes, and both of them express their fear they share.

Themes of this play

The Pitchfork Disney is more of a dreamlike piece than a dark comedy with unrealistic sounds. This play primarily deals with fear, specifically childhood fears. The whole play can be interpreted as a dream in itself. There are  long and highly descriptive monologues by characters in this play, especially Presley. 

The Fastest Clock in the Universe




Plot

‘‘The Fastest Clock in the Universe’’ is about a young man named ‘Cougar Glass’ who adores his looks, but hates his age (Actually 30) and he claims is only 19 . Cougar lives with Captain Tock, who is infatuated with him. As the play begins, Cougar & Captain Tock are setting a trap. Cougar has stalked and lured (To tempt a person or an animal,to do something or to go somewhere). Cougar claims that every birthday is his 19th and he is forever a young muscled and glowing man. Captain is preparing for a birthday party for Cougar but as his tradition, Cougar has arranged his own present for himself, which is the form of a teenage boy. A 15 year old school boy called Foxtrot then turns up with a guest, Sherbet who unpacks truths from her handbag like a chirpy malevolent Mary Poppins. Cougar intends to use Foxtrot to satisfy his own desires, sexual and otherwise, and then to dispose of him as callously as possible, a repetitive scenario that disturbs the Captain.

Setting

The play is set in a broken down flat above an abandoned factory in the East End of London. In the flat there are many large cracks in the walls, table, hard-backed chairs, sofa, cupboard, sideboard, window, fridge, sink, gas cooker and a mirror. However the main feature of this is birds, stuffed birds, china birds and paintings of birds. 

The System (Boys Piece)

For the boys piece we've decided to do a prison scene, Our piece is about two young men who arrive in the prison yard and settle in and get to know the other prisoners, what they're in for and the crimes they have committed etc. However this story mainly focuses on my character Samuel who has been in the prison the longest out of those 10 men. He knows what goes on around the prison, the rules and how to go about when prisoners are in there cell. In this scene
 all the prisoners are in the yard and both police officers take a register of the prisoners. Meanwhile new inmates are introduced, Nana & Raymond. Samuel dreams of getting out that prison and tells the new inmates the stuff he has experienced in his time and the crime he has committed. Samuel was convicted of manslaughter after defending himself against his mothers boyfriend since his mum lost her job and didn't have enough money to look after him properly. The mothers boyfriend always managed to spend any little they had on his heroin addiction. Samuel then asked the man (Bastard) to leave but he said after he fucks his mum one more time, eventually he lost it and stabbed the man in the neck with his own needle 32 times. Samuels mother then ran away and never came back, he was so scared and didn't even phone the police for days. One day when he came back from school, officers were at his door. Samuel told them the story and they handcuffed him. Since that day of his arrest he's been in that prison.

PRISONERS

Charles - Nana

Shabill - Daniel

Pierce - The Warden

Cameron - Officer Benson

Prince - Chief Officer Ricky

Bicton - Raymond

Bradley - Ricardo (Gay prisoner)

Edward - Psycho

Mahin - Hamza

Me - Samuel

Sean - Mute

Ahmed - Sharif

There's a lot more that happen later on in this piece. In the end as a fight breaks out between Shabill & Ahmed's characters, Samuel slowly walks to the line and PC Benson spots this and tells him to return back to the group, but Samuel continues walking, the rest of the prisoner shouts to Samuel telling him stop, as he crosses the line...........BANG PC Benson shoots him. After it goes into a song 'He's got the whole world in his hands' sung by the psycho ad the lights fade.  

(Yusuf helping us Piece our ideas together)

SINGING WITH SEAN LOG: THURSDAY 13th MARCH 2014

SINGING THIS WEEK: THURSDAY 13th MARCH 2014

In today's lesson Sean continued doing one to ones with people who still need to work on their solos. Whilst he was doing that I went out to practice my song, it's not from a musical. The song I am singing is Lionel Richie 'Hello', even though it's not from a musical but it is a song that has a story/meaning behind it and something that you can act through. When I went through the sheet with a long list of musicals I listened to most of these songs and tried and not one suited me so I decided to go the risky way which was finding popular songs, this was allowed but as long as it is a song that has a meaning to it and that you can act through then it's fine.
The reason why I chose this song is because I feel that it's a song that would perfectly suited me and it was something that I was able to act through. Before even acting through the song I had to sort out my signing range and get Sean to change the key of this song since it was to high for me, at the moment I think I'm a tenor. After going through this song a couple of times with Sean, he told me that it sounded perfect. Now that my singing range was sorted out, I had to think about ways to action this, to do this I had to think about where am I?, who am I? and who am I talking to?, I watched the official music video of 'Hello'  and in the music video it features the story of Lionel Richie having a seemingly unrequited (Not returned or reciprocated) love for a blind art student until he realises that she shares the feeling as demonstrated by the discovery that she is sculpting a likeness of his head. There was quite a lot to think about when I had to act it out and It was quite difficult trying to action this out but at the same time I was thinking about the way how I perform a monologue is what I am going to in this but with singing. So what I did is that instead of just taking hints/ideas from the video I created a different character but similar to the character Lionel was portraying in the music video. Instead of the man in the video looking trying to interact with a blind woman, it's about a man who hear and sees visions of his late wife and the place this character is in is a mental health care home where he was put by his children who believe that their father is mentally ill and says he hears/sees visions of his late wife when actually she appears to him in a dream.







LYRICS

I've been alone with you inside my mind

And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a 
thousand times I sometimes see you pass outside my door 
Hello, is it me you're looking for?

I can see it in your eyes I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted,
and my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do 
And I want to tell you so much, I love you

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care Sometimes
 I feel my heart will overflow Hello,
I've just got to let you know
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?

Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you

Hello, is it me you're looking for? '
Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely,
or is someone loving you?

Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying I love you

DEVISING DRAMA PIECE: WEEK 2 MON-FRI COUPLE OF DAYS BEFORE OUR PERFORMANCE

WEEK 2

This week we continued working on our duologue's with our partners, since my partner (Prince) had Territory rehearsals we couldn't really do much in our rehearsal process, so what I decided to in the mean time was to keep going over my lines and thinking about the way I deliver them as well as just sticking to one thing. Also I was thinking of possible things that I would consider putting in our piece such as things I could be doing in the bit of the script when I am doing press ups at the beginning which opens our scene, instead of that I thought about skipping at the beginning instead of opening which would probably bring more of an effect towards the audience so they get a sense of where me & Prince are. The problem with that idea is that no one would really be skipping in there living room, so instead of having that idea I decided to stick with me just doing press ups. Also the bit when Nathan (My Character) lifts weights, I changed that idea to me just doing sit ups, probably with a medicine ball. The reason why I cut the idea of me lifting weights is because I had to think hard of my surroundings and whether it would make sense to the audience, most likely the first years would think that me & Prince are in a gym and also they will be thinking to themselves ''Why is Prince bringing cocaine into the gym'' and over here that is where things will start to look a bit tacky. So we had to remind ourselves just to keep it simple and straight forward. There was quite a lot that we had to think about and how we could make our piece appealing to our audience. Monday in Yusuf's lesson each pair had to get up and show what they have done so far so we can give each other feedback and help each other in any area.

After Esther & Ahmed showed their piece me & Prince got up, it wasn't blocked properly but it was just something we came up with together. After we performed our piece we got constructive feedback from our peers saying that what we've got is good so far and that it's interesting, quite funny, as I was up performing this we got a few laughs at the right time and it was exactly what I expected played with the comedic elements with this along with the serious elements. Although this whole situation that the characters Austin & Nathan are in was a serious situation, I still played along with the comedic elements. The things we had to work on mainly was our moments and how we deliver our lines to each other, Prince was fine but for me there were specific things that I had to work on which were characterisation, and my reactions. Also the bit when I notice Prince sniffing cocaine I had to take a 5 second pause before I delivered that line because what I done is that I went straight into ''What the fuck?, what are you doing?, this is my mums table you can't be doing this here!'', on that line I had to be more shocked and build on that suspense a bit more (Surprising the audience) so that the audience also get a feel of where this conflict between Austin & Nathan leads to. Overall everybody liked what me & Prince's piece, but the only problem is that we were down on props which I was sorting out. 

MY PROPS

(Pears powder for use of Cocaine), I was actually supposed to use icing sugar but unfortunately I didn't have any at home so I decided to use baby powder

Fake Cocaine

My Sweat Towel




















PERFORMANCE REVIEW

The performance went well, me and Prince had our props and costumes ready, we went over our lines a couple of times and things didn't really go wrong. During the performance I felt comfortable and relaxed on stage I took a breath before I delivered my lines and I was aware of things around me if things went wrong because when we were after Esther & Tracy, I couldn't really see anything as I was setting up for our scene, there were stuff on stage that were a bit messy and I had to be extremely careful in case I accidently knock down a glass bottle.   what was on stage since it was all dark. As I was performing I was thinking about the way how I deliver my lines and how it should engage with the first years but we got a good reaction from the audience and they seemed to be interested in our piece. Although I our scene was originally supposed to be serious and dramatic, when I said my line ''This is my mums table you can't be doing this here!'', all of a sudden I just here laughter, I don't know whether they were laughing at or with me but I know that I couldn't just be serious throughout otherwise our piece wouldn't look as good as me & Prince would expect so I had to go with it and entertain/surprise the first years a bit more. I think the reason why they found that bit funny is because they know how I can be reality about being a ''mummies boy'' and I'm so secure with myself, what I did to keep the audience engaged with our piece is that I used a bit of the reality side of me and adapted it into our piece and from seeing the reaction from the audience I can see it worked and it was effective. However Prince also did great and it was clear that they noticed his character (Austin) as a drug dealer and he too played around with the comedic element that he was getting from the audience. Although he missed his first line ''Another drink now is it?'' and went straight to ''don't you ever get tired of drinking that?, I just carried on (Improvisation skill). Also people found Prince really funny and it was a shock when they found out that his character was a drug dealer and it was exactly what we expected which was to surprise our audience more. For some people they were not surprised after what they saw in Territory Prince playing a school bully, but what he done is that he played in a comedic way to grab the audience attention. What made the audience jump off there seats is when I poured the cocaine (Actually baby powder) and said I was going to sniff some with him but I actually don't and pour it on the floor that it was entertained the first years/staff. At the end of our scene we had a technical difficulty since whoever was back there doing the lights didn't know what our queue was, again we improvised that bit with me telling him ''You know what just get out my house'' and Prince kicking the snow at me, that bit of the ending killed the audience with laughter but the good thing is they didn't know that wasn't supposed to end like that. Me & Prince got positive feedback from the audience saying that our piece was really good, it was understandable funny and truthful. All other groups also got positive feedback.

Out of 10 I would give this a 9 and a half :)

This week's been fine............

DEVISING DRAMA PIECE: 1ST WEEK BACK AFTER HALF-TERM

WEEK 1: FEBRUARY 24-28 2014

During this week we were given a task to do which was to create our own Drama piece, since we asked for this, claiming that we were not Acting/Performing enough because of the pitches and creating our own advertisements which most of us found really pointless. For this task we had to find our partners. I Originally wanted to work with Sean but since everyone was taken, I chose to work with Prince. Whilst we were creating our Drama piece there were certain things that all of us (the whole class) had to think about such as the theme/social theme, setting and moral behind this, since we are performing to the first years. There were also certain things that we had to avoid such as making our piece's cliché, slapping our audience with the wet fish (Making it too simple), and for us to stop explaining ourselves and just act. All we had to do is just think out the box a little bit. LANGUAGE is VITAL to us, the reason being  is that the audience have to be able to engage with the whole piece and understand what we are saying and how it connects with our whole piece. Another important notice to us is to 'stick with our original ideas, don't change the whole script/theme!', if we changed the whole idea we wouldn't really have time to get things done quickly and most likely it would take a while to shape things and getting things together and sorted out & plus we only have one week to do this, there's not much time left. I had a variety of ideas to do for my piece since Prince wasn't in the first day this was announced. The ideas that I had for me & Prince's piece was to have to mates who are completely different to each other one is a soft/reserved hard worker and gymnast, the other is a laid back, party person, drinks heavily, smokes, but his mate doesn't know that he does drugs (sniffs Cocaine). The names of these two guys are Nathan & Austin, I named Nathan as the laid back, party person, drinks heavily and smokes, Austin as the soft/reserved hard worker and gymnast there was a slight problem over here which was the names and they didn't really match characters, this is what Prince spotted and was aware of so what he suggested was to swap the names around Nathan is Austin and Austin is Nathan. We did so that as we're rehearsing/performing at any point when we mention each others names there is a strong representation of both these characters. By Wednesday all of us had to have a finished draft of our scripts when Marlon (Ex-Student of the College) came to do a workshop with us, helping us with our scripts giving us hints & ideas. 

ROUGH BRAINSTORM FOR MY IDEAS

Second Idea (Backup plan if all else fails)

Another idea I had was instead of making Austin & Nathan young dudes I wanted to make them adults so that I can at least avoid doing something that's it is a bit cliché and changing the ages of the characters instead of making them teenagers all the time, something what most people do. With this idea I wanted to have Nathan as a Lawyer and Austin as a criminal/ex-convict. Here was how I planned it.............

SCENE 1

A living room decorated and cleaned up as always with a sofa and a table which has a wine/drink bottle and a cigarette. Austin is sitting on his sofa thinking to himself about the crimes he has committed and how it has affected him now.

Austin: drinks beer, then puffs cigarette

A pause, Goes into monologue 

Austin: As a youngster I was quite resentful of the Police because of the way I'd been stopped and searched. I always dreamed of joining the Police Force. 1982, my dad was badly beaten up by officers after a stop and search, I was only 8 at the time since then I haven't seen my father............ (takes another puff)

Knock on the door, Austin opens

Austin: You again?

Nathan: Need a word with you Austin, may I come in ?

Nathan enters

Austin: What do you want now? 

--------------------- WHERE  I GOT UP TO 

This is where I stopped at and what I was trying to do was to make this a crime drama something like you see on these BBC one, ITV or Channel 4 TV drama series such as Luther, Inside Men and Top Boy and so on, but I wanted to do something completely different and outside the box with more suspense to this piece. When I stopped at this bit I was struggling trying to add in what Nathan wild say next whether he would talk about the murder of someone he knows or crime he has committed. I had a lot of ideas in mind but when I was practising these lines it all sounded too cliché and something the audience would easily understand. Also I was thinking of how me & Prince are going to surprise the audience with a Drama piece like this. I knew doing a piece based on crime drama would be quite difficult and it would take a lot of time to piece things together. I only I had a week to do this and again I had to remind myself to stop over thinking things and stick with our original idea.

STUFF FROM FILM & TV THAT HELPED SHAPE MY IDEA









Here's my first rough draft of my script  ---------- THINGS THAT NEEDED CHANGING

SCENE 1

A living room with a sofa and a table which has a wine/drink bottle and a cigarette. Austin is sitting on his sofa smoking and watching Nathan working out.

Austin: Another drink now, is it?

Nathan: Yes……..

Austin:  Don’t you ever get tired of drinking that?

Nathan: Nope

Austin: Any ways, You coming to the party tonight?

Nathan: Errrrm…….. Maybe, not sure

Austin: Bruv, you always say this man, you’re hardly at any parties

Nathan: I know, it’s just that I've got things to do

Austin: Things to do? Alright let me ask you this, do you have a job?

Nathan: No

Austin: Got a girl?

Nathan: I'm single

Austin: So what is it that you’re always busy with?

Nathan: Listen, hopefully if there’s time I’ll probably come to the party

Austin: Wicked!

Nathan: But I am not drinking any alcohol tonight

Austin: You sure about that (Smiles)

Nathan: After what happened last time

Austin: laughs

Nathan: That’s not even funny

Austin: Take a draw (Offers Nathan Cigarette) ------------------NEEDS CHANGING  

Nathan: Nah I'm fine

Austin: You sure?

Nathan: Yeah

Austin: Come on, all you have to do is this (smokes puff), simple

Nathan: Nah I'm not doing it

Austin: Just come on man! (In anger)

Long Pause............

Nathan: Alright (takes puff)    ---------------- NEEDS CHANGING 

Austin: See, weren't bad was it? 

Long Pause.......

Austin: Was it? (In Aggression)

Nathan: Nah

(Blackout) ---------------- NOT LONG ENOUGH 

Before Marlon came and looked at me & Prince were up to, Prince had a quick read of this and saw what needs changing. As you can see with my first draft above there's quite a lot of things that are wrong which had to be changed such as the Language, it's not up to 3 mins, it's not making sense and its to basic. Also there's no Drama. These are 5 things Prince picked up on so we had a lot to think about. Instead of a cigarette being the main issue for these characters we decided to bring in the idea of Austin sniffing Cocaine and encouraging Nathan to join him, with Cocaine being the drug Austin reveals as his secret, me and Prince believe that it would build a stronger conflict within the scene and between these two characters. By doing this I feel that it would surprise the audience a bit because it would be unexpected that Austin sniffs Cocaine which show that the audience will be as shocked as Nathan as he brings out the drug. Once we came up with this idea Prince made a few corrections and we extended it a bit more and changed up the Language. The feedback we got from Alex is that there has to be more slang in our piece so it can relate well to the audience since were performing this in front of first years. The beginning bit was fine it's when it gets to the middle bit that is when things get a bit eggy. Again we had to remind ourselves not to change the whole script and stick with our original idea. After Prince highlighted the errors in this, I went off to the hub to rewrite this up whilst Prince was thinking of other things that we could possibly include in our scene. 

REDRAFT OF THE SCRIPT

Here there is a massive difference compared to my first script and a lot of things have been changed such as the Language, time duration and essence of our scene. Also we jotted down some ideas on actions, things our characters could possibly do as we start blocking our scene properly (Unit of Action). More or less me & Prince have blocked most of of this already. It may look boring on script but when it comes to us blocking this it would be much more understandable to whoever sees what we have done so far.

SCENE 1

A living room with a sofa and a table which has a wine/drink bottle and a cigarette. Austin is sitting on his sofa smoking and watching Nathan working out.

Austin:  Another drink now, is it?

Nathan:  Yes……..

Austin:  Don’t you ever get tired of drinking that?

Nathan: Nope

Austin: Anyways, You coming Debbie’s tonight?

Nathan: Errrrm…….. Maybe, not sure

Austin: Bruv, you always say this man, you’re hardly at any parties

Nathan:  I know, it’s just that I’ve got things to do

Austin: Things to do? Alright let me ask you this, do you have a job?

Nathan: No

Austin: Got a girl?

Nathan: I’m single

Austin: So what is it that you’re always busy with?

A Pause.............

Nathan: Listen, hopefully if there’s time I’ll probably come to the party

Austin: Wicked!

Nathan: But I am not drinking any alcohol tonight

Austin: You sure about that (Smiles)

Nathan: After what happened last time

Austin: laughs

Nathan: That’s not even funny, I ended up dialling numbers that night, didn't know what I was doing and somehow I don’t know how I ended up at Bermondsey, that is how pissed I was, if only you…………. (Turns around) 

Austin: laughs again

Nathan: (Finds Austin sniffing Cocaine and he’s in shock), what the fuck? What are you doing? , this is my mum’s table you can’t be doing this here!

Austin: ‘Nothing like a bit of snow’, (mumbles to himself)………..Arrgghhh it’s just Cocaine

Nathan: I always knew you were a party animal but a fiend crack head?!.....

Austin: Yo Nathan man just chill out man fuck sake!, why you so uptight all the time?!

Nathan: I am not uptight!, there’s chilling out and there’s just plain straight insanity, but sniffing snow are you mad ?

Austin: You’re so on the defence about everything, what are you scared of?, when you ain’t even tried it?

Nathan: Nothing………….

Austin: Then if you’re not scared of anything, I don’t see why you shouldn't take a draw

(Long pause………)

Nathan: Takes Cocaine and looks at it

Austin: Go on have a draw

Nathan: Alright (Pretends to sniff it)

Austin: Continues sniffing drug

Nathan:  Austin, I think there’s something in this you know

Austin: Let me see

Nathan: dashes cocaine in his eyes

Austin: What the fuck are you doing, what was that about?!!

Nathan: Told you, you can’t be doing this here!, my mums only down the road

Austin: You fool look what you've done, I spent hours trying to get this!! 

(Goes on the floor trying to get his Cocaine)

Nathan: Well tough!

Austin: You don’t know who you’re fucking with!!

Nathan: Get out of my house (says in disgust)

Austin: Fine……… (Smashes Nathan’s mothers Vas of flowers/table or Picture Frame)

Nathan: Watches him go out

(Blackout)

There would be more to this obviously but what we've got now is fine and we can build on this more from the ending and see what else me & Prince could include but right the time duration for this is roughly at 2 mins max meaning that a bit more has to be added in. What I think is that we should keep letting the argument/little conflict build a bit more between Nathan & Austin in order for Austin to do something really bad or crazy which would be unexpected. Also I still think that we should do something to surprise the audience a bit more which can lead to a very dramatic part something that would just make the audience go 'Wow!'. Again this might take a while once me & Prince discuss things like this next week we would keep on experimenting, seeing what works & what doesn't. 

This shows how I was struggling to piece things together (Mistakes & Errors), trying to see what would and would not work.

PROPS NEEDED FOR  OUR SCENE 

* Icing Sugar or Powder for Cocaine

* Cigarette, Drinks

* Powerade drink

* Gym Weights

This week's been fine.........